Saturday, September 22, 2012

Decision making

So, I have been putting off making a pretty big decision. It's like I know my decision, I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't want to do it. I've noticed, however that this effects my  motivation in so many other areas of life. I'm  less motivated to exercise, clean, and by the lack of a blog in quite a while, anything extra.

I do believe however, that I've discovered what the root of my problem is. I'm afraid of failing, afraid of falling on my face, and letting people down. I look at it and realize that this decision will literally change everything about my life, and I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle that. I also struggle with the idea of even being good enough to handle it. Am I really equipped and ready for this? Is there more I should be doing now?

It's in these moments, I wish I had my dad the most. Needing his wisdom, and straight talk, as well as his encouragement. In moments of self pity, I hear the Lord saying "I've got this, rest in me first. I am all you need."  And yet I still struggle, I still doubt. So then everything else suffers because of it.

I wish I had a great answer, or solution. Something that I could share with you about this journey, but I don't yet.  I just know that during this season, I will wait on the Lord. And maybe I'll get some great break through. But in the meantime, I would like to ask you to pray for me. Pray for wisdom and clarity.

Thank you so much for your love and support, and I hope to be able to report soon with my decision!

1 comment:

  1. Your honest transparency is so inviting. I know that Lord is going to bless you with wisdom and encouragement to do what you know to do best, sister! Keep pressing in and trusting Him. He has you in the palm of his hand and will not dare let you go.

    Praying for you lady!