My time in South Africa thus far has proven to be good, and yet challenging. Challenging in the aspect that I'm finding myself conquering fears, and facing the areas I have always thought I was less than adequate in. The Lord has been showing me that really, there is nothing we can do because without Him we are nothing.
I think all too often, we get this idea in our heads that we have to make a way, we have to figure things out, we are in control. Well let me tell you, we are in control of absolutely nothing!! Let me rephrase that, I am in control of absolutely nothing! I had a plan all laid out for what the next year was going to look like, and it was a good honorable plan. But the Lord has been showing me that I've allowed a spirit of independence to settle in my life, and all of my working and toil is worthless, because I'm not being dependent on Him. I can't even begin to describe the feeling of having a security blanket like independence ripped away from you. It's painful, but man is it freeing!
In that freedom, the Lord has began to give me glimpses of seeing my heart and passions start to play out. Friday I had the opportunity to speak with a mother who had decided to give her baby up for adoption. What a hard choice to make, but for this mother, it was the choice to put her child's needs before her own. What a beautiful doorway to speak into her life about the love of God, and His choice to send His son for us. It's moments like this that make giving up my life back home worth it.
God sees it when we give up everything for Him. It doesn't go unnoticed, and in that surrender, He is there not only to comfort and guide us, but to fill us to overflowing with His love. It's worth the hard times, the ripping away of security blankets, and missing out on life back home. It's worth it because Jesus gave His life for me, and God gave His son... So really my sacrifice is nothing compared to that.